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Conflict Remedy Blog by Lorraine Segal
A story in my local newspaper about last month’s women’s soccer world cup offers a beautiful example of letting go, forgiveness, and fresh starts.
Hope Solo, star goalkeeper for the US women’s soccer team, has a half brother she was estranged from.
David had avoided her for the 17 years since he was a teenager, bitter and angry that their father had abandoned him, but stayed for a while with Hope and her mother.
But then he saw interviews she gave in the lead-up to the 2011 soccer world cup and was touched by similarities between them. He broke his long silence and sent her a text congratulating her and wishing her luck in the championship game, ending by saying, “I will be a better brother.””
Although he wasn’t really expecting a response, she texted him back quickly, saying, “And I will be a better sister. I love you.”
It would have been easy for her to hold on to bitterness about all the years he had cut himself off from her, but she didn’t.
It would have been equally easy for him to stay mired in resentment about his childhood or, overwhelmed by regret about their estrangement, let it continue.
Instead, he found the courage to reach out, and she responded to his overture. They were both willing to forgive and make a fresh start, not letting the past limit the possibility of future closeness.
The new beginning between Hope and her brother David is an inspiring example of what can happen in difficult or broken relationships. With willingness, clarity, and support many people can follow their path and heal ruptured connections .
Lorraine Segal, M.A., has her own Sonoma County conflict & forgiveness coaching, mediation, and training business, Conflict Remedy, based in Santa Rosa, California. She also teaches in Sonoma State University’s Conflict Resolution certificate program and leads communication skills workshops and webinars on forgiveness, co-parenting skills, and communication. She specializes in transforming communication for divorced parents.
She has presented face to face or via teleseminar for ACR, ADRHub, Women’s Global Leadership Institute, local non profits and schools. Her coaching and mediation services are available by telephone as well as face to face. Her blog and more information about her and her services are available at www.ConflictRemedy.com
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