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Civility and Graciousness

by Phyllis Pollack

From the Blog of Phyllis G. Pollack.

Phyllis  Pollack

       Recently, the Los Angeles County Bar Association started publishing an on-line monthly newsletter entitled “One Minute Negotiation Tip.” In its very first issue, (Vol. 1, No. 1), this newsletter sets out five basic principles of negotiation borrowed from Linda Bulmash’s column “Negotiate Like The Winners.” These tips emphasize civility and graciousness in dealing with others. They include:
   

         “1. Negotiation is not a contest. In other words getting as much as you can does not mean beating the other person. You seldom have so much leverage that they will agree to a deal that gives them nothing.

      2. WIIFM (What’s In It For Me?) Your counterpart is continually asking “What’s in it for me?” Never assume your counterpart knows what he or she has to gain from a settlement. Take time to not only find out what you want but spend time identifying what they want. Then make sure you spell out the benefits to them of your proposal.

      3. Show respect for and acceptance of their position: Take the chip off your shoulder before starting the negotiation. Never attack another person’s ego and self-worth; if you do, they will be more resistant to even the most beneficial settlement terms.

      4. Be Persistent. No matter how great the differences, the final outcome often is not apparent until after extended discussions. Be persistent - - do not give up until you have examined all possibilities.

      5. Always consider “worth” analysis. “Cost/benefit” considerations are not the only driving force in a negotiation. Each issue in a negotiation has a different value/worth to each participant. You can often give your counterpart things that will satisfy their “worth” needs, without giving up an essential deal point for yourself. Examples of this could be that timing of payments would be “worth” enough to lower the demand.”

      Apply these tips during your next mediation, and chances are. . . the dispute will get resolved.
     

       . . . Just something to think about.

Biography


Phyllis Pollack with PGP Mediation uses a facilitative, interest-based approach. Her preferred mediation style is facilitative in the belief that the best and most durable resolutions are those achieved by the parties themselves. The parties generally know the business issues and priorities, personalities and obstacles to a successful resolution as well as their own needs better than any mediator or arbitrator. She does not impose her views or make decisions for the parties. Rather, Phyllis assists the parties in creating options that meet the needs and desires of both sides.  When appropriate, visual aids are used in preparing discussions and illustrating possible solutions. On the other hand, she is not averse to being proactive and offering a generous dose of reality, particularly when the process may have stalled due to unrealistic expectations of attorney or client, a failure to focus on needs rather than demands, or when one or more parties need to be reminded of the potential consequences of their failure to reach an agreement.



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Website: www.pgpmediation.com/index.htm

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