Resolve conflict in your marriage, live longer


by Diane J. Levin

From the Mediation Channel of Diane Levin.

Diane J. Levin

Conflict resolution skills in marriage are good for your healthA recent study shows that the upside of marital fighting is not just the makeup sex afterwards.

Researchers at the University of Michigan followed 192 couples over a 17-year period and discovered something interesting:

Couples in which both the husband and wife suppress their anger when one attacks the other die earlier than members of couples where one or both partners express their anger and resolve the conflict…

The study results suggest that good conflict resolution skills may be key, but the problem is that few people possess the proper training. According to the study’s lead author,

“When couples get together, one of their main jobs is reconciliation about conflict…Usually nobody is trained to do this. If they have good parents, they can imitate, that’s fine, but usually the couple is ignorant about the process of resolving conflict. The key matter is, when the conflict happens, how do you resolve it?”

The lesson? If you want to save your marriage and your health, learn conflict resolution skills.



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Biography




Diane Levin is a dispute resolution professional in the U.S. in the Greater Boston area, and a principal of OptionBridge LLC, a full-service ADR firm headquartered in Concord, New Hampshire. Formerly an attorney practicing tort, labor/employment, and probate law, she now focuses full-time on providing alternatives to litigation.  Since 1995 she has helped clients resolve disputes involving tort, employment, business, estate, family, and real property issues, and serves on numerous mediation panels, including the United States Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. Training and coaching are an enduring passion -- she has taught thousands of people to resolve conflict, negotiate better, or become mediators -- from Croatian judges to Fortune 500 executives.

 

While real-world, in-person interactions are important to her work, the internet plays an integral role. Someone who actually builds web sites for fun, Diane serves as technology consultant to mediators and other service providers. She was one of the first people in the world to blog about ADR, and for three years has published the award-winning  MediationChannel.com.  She also tracks and catalogues ADR blogs world-wide at ADRblogs.com, where she has created a community for bloggers writing about constructive ways to resolve disputes.



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Website: www.partneringsolutions.org

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