No Dukes
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From the Real Divorce Mediation Blog October 2008 |
I liken litigation to duking it out. There are three main drawbacks to litigation. (Yes, this blog has a bias.) They are:1. Impact on Children
2. Cost
3. Impact on You
Never underestimate the impact on your children that protracted litigation with your spouse will have. Your kids are already upset that your divorce is about to make a huge change in their lives. It’s also hard for them to hear one parent disrespect the other. You’re their parents. They love you. So think about what it will feel like to them for their parents to get into a bitter lawsuit.
Litigation is prohibitively expensive. Let’s say your divorce lawyer charges $400 per hour. Let’s say you’re angry and you want your lawyer to take your spouse’s deposition. Let’s say it takes your lawyer 10 hours to prepare for the deposition (lots of documents to review) and 8 hours to take it. That’s $8,000. You may be able to negotiate a mediated settlement, and be done with it, for less money than it would take for one deposition. Save your money for your post-divorce future.
As for the impact on you, in my experience, protracted conflict only gets more bitter, not less. Not only is that a lot of wasted energy, it’s looking backward instead of looking forward. Save your energy for something positive, like your post-divorce life.
--Nancy
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