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You Have the Skills to Deal with Conflict

by Jason Dykstra
November 2011

Absolution Mediation Blog by Jason Dykstra

Jason Dykstra
That’s right, you have the necessary skills to deal with all the conflict in your life. Sure there are new skills that you can acquire, you can always build on your foundational skills. In order to deal with the majority of conflict in your life however, you have the skills to deal with it. That’s not saying that you might need help along the way, whether that is with a mediator, coach, or some other conflict management professional, but those people will help you use the skills that you have to deal with that conflict.

This past week I took a Conflict Management Coaching course that was facilitated by (I would dare say) the creator of conflict coaching, Cinnie Noble. One of my main takeaways from the course is that when you are coaching, the client always knows themselves and the other person better then you, the coach. Always. Period.

You know your hot buttons, your triggers, how you want to approach the situation, what you did well, what you could improve on, you know all of that better then anyone else. Having a coach can be useful to help draw some of this knowledge out with various approaches. They can also be useful to work with you to devise a plan on how to approach an ongoing or potential conflict situation. However, the coach can help you do this with your knowledge of your skills…because you know you the best.

We all deal with this big, scary thing called conflict. Everyone of us. Here’s my take on it though – Conflict is neither good nor bad, but it is how we deal with it that will determine its outcome. If you find yourself going through a conflict situation or preparing for a conflict situation and you’re in need of a little guidance, give me an email (jason(at) and I will help you find those tools that you possess.

I also want to give you the book that Cinnie Noble just released called, “Conflict Management Coaching – The CINERGY Model” so I’m going to randomly choose one person who tweets or shares this post. Just make sure that you include my Twitter name (@Jasondyk) or if you’re on Facebook then tag Absolution Mediation so I know that you have shared it!


Jason is a Conflict Management Specialist who is helping organizations and congregations move from conflict situations to creative solutions. He specializes in relational and communication issues and uses his experience and training in mediation, group facilitation, conflict management coaching, speaking and teaching to aid you and your surroundings to better cope with conflict and become more conflict resilient. Jason has a background in social services, working with individuals with developmental disabilities, mental health and at-risk youth. He complements his experience with an Advanced Certificate in Conflict Management and is currently in pursuit of his Master's Degree in Leadership. Jason lives in St. George, Ontario with his beautiful wife and two children.

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