I Need My Manager to Mentor Me
Q. When I joined this organization as a mid-level supervisor it was my understanding from the owner that my manager would mentor me in this role. It turns out that my manager’s style is truly “hands off”. Several times I’ve asked to discuss our mentoring relationship but something more important always gets in the way. A couple of times I tried to catch him in the hall or the lunch room, but now he either pretends not to see me or he does a quick “about face” when I am heading towards him. He gives me little feedback about my work, saying that if there’s a problem, he'll let me know. He says I should work on developing management skills, but doesn't give me any guidance. I want to move up the management ladder, so I’m anxious to prove my worth in this company. How can I get my manager to mentor me?
A. The push to do more with less has caused many managers to focus primarily on short term goals--getting the job done. Strategies like training and mentoring that will increase overall productivity and efficiencies in the long run fall by the wayside because they seem too costly. To get the help you want:
Assess your need. Identify several key areas where you need your manager’s feedback and input, as well as some methods for providing it that will work for you. You can then ask for his guidance or advice instead of asking him to “mentor” you, making the task less overwhelming, more manageable, and less time-consuming. And if you simply need some "attaboys" to affirm that you’re on the right track, just say so.
Don’t try to "catch" him - Keeping his"eyes glued to the floor" is an avoidance strategy and a clear message that this tactic won’t work. Efforts to have worthwhile discussions on the fly generally result in misunderstandings and should be avoided anyway. Constructive discussions require privacy, adequate time, freedom from interruptions, and focus.
Request a meeting - Choose the communication method that is most likely to ensure a response from him – face-to-face, email, instant message, etc. Be respectful and assertive – “if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again”, perhaps using a different method. Focus on what you’d like to accomplish and what you’re looking for from him instead of what he’s not doing. Prepare to be brief and to the point in both your request and in the meeting.
