Set Workplace Boundaries
A guy in my office is driving me crazy. He interrupts me often to tell me tidbits about his personal life, which I don't find particularly interesting. I've got lots of work and I get resentful when his chit-chat costs me precious time that I don't have to spare. He's a great guy but I'm here to do my job, not socialize. I've tried little hints like, "Wow, look what time it is already," but he keeps blabbering. We do need to get along and I want to be a nice person so I just smile and pretend I'm interested in his drivel. Can I get him to be respectful of my time without being totally rude?A good working relationship is important for all co-workers but one person doesn't get to determine what that means while the other person just puts up and plays nice. You need to confront your concerns with your co-worker ASAP. Don't wait until you feel like you "just can't take it any more" and end up saying something you'll likely regret that seriously damages the relationship. Here's how.Clearly state the problem: Is it the number of interruptions, the personal nature of the conversation, the timing of the interruptions, all of the above, or something else that is really annoying you? Be prepared to give specifics.
Be brief and direct: Hinting and beating around the bush will only confuse him. State your preferred boundaries with regard to interruptions and ask for his cooperation. You might say, "I'd prefer to only talk about personal issues on break because I need all of my work time to get the job done." Be willing to negotiate in order to also meet his needs for the relationship.
Focus on facts, not feelings: Present your concerns objectively and logically — and in private. Tell him how you feel without getting emotional. Be respectful. Don't whine and don't apologize unless you are wrong or at fault.
Stop pretending: Smiling and faking interest gives the message that you're OK with his interruptions and that you enjoy the conversation. Remember old habits die hard — respectfully restate your boundaries whenever he crosses them.
Being a nice person does not mean gritting your teeth and putting on a smiley face when a co-worker's behavior is causing you problems. Being a nice person means being willing to address concerns that get in the way of a good working relationship.
