My employee and I are not getting along, but it’s been suggested to me that it’s not her fault.  I know I can be overbearing which has caused problems with previous employees.  I’ve also been told that I’m too controlling, but since it’s my job too make sure that this company is successful I’ve got a lot at stake.  I really value this employee and don’t want to lose her so help me understand the boundary between doing my job and being over-controlling. 

Because the success of your organization is directly impacted by the work of your employee, it is easy to understand why getting the job done, and done right, is important to you.  There is a difference, however between good management techniques and overbearing, controlling behaviors.  To determine if you are too controlling, look for these indicators:     

Feedback that you are too controlling (check this one off).  Ask those who say this to give you more specifics – what language and behaviors of yours are giving this message?  Make it clear why you are asking the question and how the information will be used; then listen with an open mind and don’t get defensive. 

Micromanaging.  You need to control every detail of your employee’s work and have trouble delegating.  This is a time-consuming, costly, and stressful way to manage for both you and her.  It also gives the message that you lack confidence in her abilities.  Valued employees take personal responsibility for doing a good job and require minimal supervision as long as they have appropriate training, adequate resources and a clear understanding of your expectations. 

You spend too much time answering questions.   When employees begin to doubt their ability to satisfy the boss, they are compelled to ask more questions – either to reassure themselves that they are doing the job right or simply for c.y.a. should something go wrong.  You, then, interpret the asking of questions as proof that they need more supervision from you.  And, so, the vicious circle begins. 

My way or the highway mentality.   You give employees the message that there is only one way to do the work – your way.  When you direct every detail of their jobs, especially when it's not necessary, you give the message loud and clear that only your way is right and their way is wrong.  Not only does this hamper productivity, it also stifles creativity regarding quality and efficiency as employees won’t offer their valuable input.      

Empowered employees are best equipped to help you achieve success.