Workplace Conflict May Need Outside Professional Assistance

Two of my best managers are at odds with each other.  For the most part, they’ve worked well together over the years.  Things started to unravel last year and in the past six months they’ve come to me regularly with complaints about each other.  I talked to them separately and told them to work out their differences.  When that didn’t work, I brought them together to try to mediate the problem.  After listening to both of them spout off and point the finger at the other, I’d had enough and told them what to do to solve the problem.  Much to my surprise, they now barely speak to each other and both are hinting that the other has to go.  Should I try again to mediate the problem or should I just accept that they can no longer work together?

Your managers have a history of working together effectively and, most likely can choose to do so again with the appropriate help.  As you’ve seen, just telling them to “play nice in the sandbox” won’t make that happen.  Nor will telling them how to solve the problem.  Their conflict has escalated to a place where they need an impartial third party to mediate their problem.  That may be someone else from your organization or it might be wise to seek the services of someone from the outside.  Outside assistance can be especially helpful when:

Trust levels within the organization are low - Your managers need to trust that they will be in a “safe” setting that enables direct, open conversation between them.

There is a real or perceived conflict of interest – with anyone from within who would assist them to address the conflict.  Being their superior who doesn’t want to lose either of them creates a real conflict of interest with you.  And someone else who is more removed from the situation may still be perceived by either party as less than impartial.

Conflict management skills are inadequate - Your managers need assistance to clearly identify the issues needing resolution, along with a process for problem solving that is future focused and helps each of them to save face.  A professional mediator can help them address all sides of their conflict, including the relational and emotional aspects that are key to lasting resolution.

And now is the time.  Their “hinting” is a call for help and it is imperative that you provide someone to work with them who is experienced in resolving workplace conflict.

Workplace Conflict May Need Outside Professional Assistance

Two of my best managers are at odds with each other.  For the most part, they’ve worked well together over the years.  Things started to unravel last year and in the past six months they’ve come to me regularly with complaints about each other.  I talked to them separately and told them to work out their differences.  When that didn’t work, I brought them together to try to mediate the problem.  After listening to both of them spout off and point the finger at the other, I’d had enough and told them what to do to solve the problem.  Much to my surprise, they now barely speak to each other and both are hinting that the other has to go.  Should I try again to mediate the problem or should I just accept that they can no longer work together?

Your managers have a history of working together effectively and, most likely can choose to do so again with the appropriate help.  As you’ve seen, just telling them to “play nice in the sandbox” won’t make that happen.  Nor will telling them how to solve the problem.  Their conflict has escalated to a place where they need an impartial third party to mediate their problem.  That may be someone else from your organization or it might be wise to seek the services of someone from the outside.  Outside assistance can be especially helpful when:

Trust levels within the organization are low - Your managers need to trust that they will be in a “safe” setting that enables direct, open conversation between them.

There is a real or perceived conflict of interest – with anyone from within who would assist them to address the conflict.  Being their superior who doesn’t want to lose either of them creates a real conflict of interest with you.  And someone else who is more removed from the situation may still be perceived by either party as less than impartial.

Conflict management skills are inadequate - Your managers need assistance to clearly identify the issues needing resolution, along with a process for problem solving that is future focused and helps each of them to save face.  A professional mediator can help them address all sides of their conflict, including the relational and emotional aspects that are key to lasting resolution.

And now is the time.  Their “hinting” is a call for help and it is imperative that you provide someone to work with them who is experienced in resolving workplace conflict.