• Submitted by: Mary Thompson, emmond@aol.com 
• Time Required for Activity:45 minutes
• Competency Area: Self Awareness

1. Prepare one handout of the scenario for each participant.
2. Post in four different areas of the training room a page of flip chart paper

Instructions

1. Handout the scenario to the participants. Give them a moment to read the scenario.
2. Ask them to decide which participant in the mediation session presents the biggest challenge to their role as a mediator. Ask them to stand by the appropriate flip chart page.
3. In the small groups, have group members
   • list on the flip chart page the personal values which are most challenged by this individual,
   • Discuss how they acquired these values (through parents, personal experience, etc.)
   • Discuss the implication of these values for their role as a mediator
4. Bring the large group back together. Hang all four pages at the front of the room so that everyone can see the lists of values
5. Ask for some examples of how people acquired their values.
6. Ask participants for reasons it is important to understand your personal values and biases as a mediator.
7. Summary point: The better you know yourself – your values, biases, and sensitivities – the more effectively you will.
   • Avoid accepting cases where they may not be able to be neutral or impartial
   • Better manage their own reactions when events in the mediation challenge their personal values
   • Know when to withdraw if their personal values threaten their role as a mediator
   • Be clear with the parties regarding their personal boundaries and limits regarding behaviors, topics, etc

Family Mediation Scenario

Scenario

• You are mediating a divorce dispute. The divorce was initiated by the father. The parents have two girls, 8 and 5. During the discussion of the visitation arrangements:
  
• The mother is pushing to make sure the kids spend as little time with their father as possible, since he is white and is dating an African-American woman. The mother, who is white, does not approve of her children being around African Americans.
  
• The father says that he will guarantee that his woman friend will not be present when he is with the children only if the mother agrees to get rid of the children’s puppy. The father believes the puppy is the reason the girls seem to prefer to spend time at their mother’s rather than at his place. (The father has offered to take the puppy to a place he knows of “in the country.”) You are suspicious; the father is an amateur taxidermist.
  
• The mother’s attorney (who you have met in one other mediation and who you know is married) has slipped you a note:

• The father’s attorney suggests that if the mother is unhappy with the divorce, she should never have gained so much weight, making herself unattractive to her husband and causing him to lose interest in her.

Question

• Which of these four individuals will present the biggest challenge to your ability to be neutral?