Frequently Asked Questions

How are family and divorce matters different when completed in mediation?

• Costly and acrimonious court battles are avoided.
• It is so much easier on parents and children.
• The time table is yours instead of a courts.
• Your agreements are better and more lasting.
• You remain in control of your lives as you plan for your future.
• Legal fees are significantly reduced.

Do the parties meet together with the mediator?

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Divorce/Family Home   Mediation FAQ    Divorce Mediation Preparation   Protecting Your Children   Mediation Preparation Tips    Costs of Raising Children    Financial Calculators

Most times the parties meet together with the mediator. Mediation works best when the parties are able to hear each other's perspectives and gain a clearer understanding of what is important to one another. The mediator may meet with the parties separately and privately from time to time in order to negotiate bumps in the road of their conversation or if other concerns arise by either party.

Are mediation decisions cast in stone?

The quick answer is, no. In fact, nothing is cast in stone until a judge signs a Decree. Also, mediation recognizes the important role of individual attorneys as advisors. Matters decided in mediation are to be reviewed with attorneys for individual legal advice, something that the mediator cannot provide.

What subjects are discussed in mediation?

Simply said, whatever topics help the parties get a clearer understanding of their options and the subjects that help them make the decisions they face. Topics often include but are certainly not limited to parenting, custody, financial support, property division, asset and debt distribution. The mediator helps with clarifying questions, checklists, forms, questionnaires and the experience of having helped in hundreds of other similar situations.

We're stuck.  I can't imagine mediation helping.

Maybe it won't. However, most of the time mediation outcome is much different than past attempts at communication and resolution. Despite participants often coming with very low expectations, mediation is "successful" most of the time. Parties virtually always leave mediation having at least a clearer understanding of what is before them. Moreover, and at least 75% of the time, parties resolve most if not all of the issues they bring to mediation.

How long will mediation take?

It really depends. Sometimes people come to mediation with just a couple of matters to resolve. They find that one two hour session wraps things up for them. Others begin the divorce process in mediation and cover the broad range of divorce and family issues. This may take from two sessions to as many as a half dozen. The decision to proceed at any time is always up to the parties based upon their assessment of the cost/effectiveness of their mediation.

How much does it cost?

Learning more about mediation with Steve costs nothing. Parties considering the use of mediation can meet with Steve for a half hour information session at no cost or obligation.

Those coming to their first mediation session, at the direction of the courts or their attorneys, may spend up to a quarter hour getting more information about mediation, also, at no cost. Further, there is no obligation to continue should they decide not to proceed

When the decision is made to try mediation, the cost is $90 per party per hour unless you decide to share the cost differently.

There is a one-time, administrative fee of $20 per party covering costs such as certification to the court, copying, postage, attorney communications and the like. Fees are due on the day of each mediation session.

What should I bring to mediation?

The mediator will assist in gathering information that will be helpful in your decision making.  Steve can provide you with any number of very effective tools for gathering and using information.  These tools will be very helpful in reducing the confusion and uncertainty that is present at the time of divorce.

Also, keep in mind that it is not important for the mediator to know about the issues that you bring to mediation. The mediator does not decide the issues. What is important is what the parties know and come to know through the mediation process.

Is mediation appropriate in all cases?

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Divorce/Family Home Mediation FAQ   Mediation FAQ 2   Divorce Mediation Preparation   Protecting Your Children   Calendars and Communication

mediation is not appropriate in all instances. When there has been a history of hurtful behavior, manipulation or domination, mediation may not be an OK place. Since balance of communication is essential in mediation, the presence of intimidation or fear would be a serious problem. Be sure to talk to the mediator about any such concerns. You should get all the information you need in order to make an informed decision regarding what options are best in your situation.

Will attorneys be present in the mediation?

Attorneys are rarely present in family, divorce or parenting mediations. They are certainly welcome should they wish or if the parties want them to attend. Who is present in the mediation, in addition to the parties and the mediator, is always up to the agreement of the parties.

Must I also have an attorney?   

A mediator cannot give legal advice.  That must come from an individual attorney.  There are many legal issues in divorce and parenting that require good advice from an attorney who is familiar with your situation.  This advice may be helpful before or during mediation.  It is essential before taking final papers to the court.

However, there are a growing number of attorneys who work well with and encourage mediation.  These attorneys respect the work their clients do in mediation and are happy to limit their role to that of legal advisor and one who prepares and files the appropriate documents with the court.

Will we need other professional advice?

Maybe.  The good news in mediation is that you can decide together what other professional services will be helpful.  Sometimes the advice of accountants, child mental health professionals, financial consultants, tax advisors, appraisers and other such professions can be very useful.

In mediation, however, it is rarely necessary for participants to each have their own expert as is often the case in litigated divorce.  When working together in mediation, the two of you can decide if outside help will be needed.  The mediator can help you as you decide the one most professional and objective source that can give you the information you need.

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