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Why do individuals choose mediation? (Click) How are family and divorce matters different when completed in mediation?
Do the parties meet together with the mediator?
What if we live in different states or far apart? If getting together for mediation is a problem many find Virtual Mediation both successful and appropriate. Are mediation decisions cast in stone? The quick answer is, no. In fact, nothing is cast in stone until a judge signs a Decree. Also, mediation recognizes the important role of individual attorneys as advisors. Matters decided in mediation are to be reviewed with attorneys for individual legal advice, something that the mediator cannot provide. What subjects are discussed in mediation? Simply said, whatever topics help the parties get a clearer understanding of their options and the subjects that help them make the decisions they face. Topics often include but are certainly not limited to parenting, custody, financial support, property division, asset and debt distribution. The mediator helps with clarifying questions, checklists, forms, questionnaires and the experience of having helped in hundreds of other similar situations. We're stuck. I can't imagine mediation helping. Maybe it won't. However, most of the time mediation outcome is much different than past attempts at communication and resolution. Despite participants often coming with very low expectations, mediation is "successful" most of the time. Parties virtually always leave mediation having at least a clearer understanding of what is before them. Moreover, and at least 75% of the time, parties resolve most if not all of the issues they bring to mediation. How long will mediation take? It really depends. Sometimes people come to mediation with just a couple of matters to resolve. They find that one two hour session wraps things up for them. Others begin the divorce process in mediation and cover the broad range of divorce and family issues. This may take from two sessions to as many as a half dozen. The decision to proceed at any time is always up to the parties based upon their assessment of the cost/effectiveness of their mediation. How much does it cost? The cost for mediation is $180 per hour (often divided by the parties.) A flat fee in the amount of $360 (or $180 per person or other cost sharing proportion) is paid in advance of the first meeting. This provides for up to two hours of time in a medation session or sessions with Steve. This can be paid over the phone by credit card or by mailing a check at least one week in advance of meeting. Time in addition to the initial two hours is paid for at the rate of $180 per hour. There is no charge for time spent at the beginning of the first mediation session while Steve answers all of the questions participants might have regarding the process of mediation so they can decide if they want to continue. Should they decide, for any reason, that mediation is not appropriate in their instance, a full refund of the advance fee will be provided. What should I bring to mediation? The mediator will assist in gathering information that will be helpful in your decision making. Steve can provide you with any number of very effective tools for gathering and using information. These tools will be very helpful in reducing the confusion and uncertainty that is present at the time of divorce. Also, keep in mind that it is not important for the mediator to know about the issues that you bring to mediation. The mediator does not decide the issues. What is important is what the parties know and come to know through the mediation process.
mediation is not appropriate in all instances. When there has been a history of hurtful behavior, manipulation or domination, mediation may not be an OK place. Since balance of communication is essential in mediation, the presence of intimidation or fear would be a serious problem. Be sure to talk to the mediator about any such concerns. You should get all the information you need in order to make an informed decision regarding what options are best in your situation.
Attorneys are rarely present in family, divorce or parenting mediations. They are certainly welcome should they wish or if the parties want them to attend. Who is present in the mediation, in addition to the parties and the mediator, is always up to the agreement of the parties. Must I also have an attorney? A mediator cannot give legal advice. That must come from an individual attorney. There are many legal issues in divorce and parenting that require good advice from an attorney who is familiar with your situation. This advice may be helpful before or during mediation. It is essential before taking final papers to the court. However, there are a growing number of attorneys who work well with and encourage mediation. These attorneys respect the work their clients do in mediation and are happy to limit their role to that of legal advisor and one who prepares and files the appropriate documents with the court. Will we need other professional advice? Maybe. The good news in mediation is that you can decide together what other professional services will be helpful. Sometimes the advice of accountants, child mental health professionals, financial consultants, tax advisors, appraisers and other such professions can be very useful. In mediation, however, it is rarely necessary for participants to each have their own expert as is often the case in litigated divorce. When working together in mediation, the two of you can decide if outside help will be needed. The mediator can help you as you decide the one most professional and objective source that can give you the information you need.
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Frequently Asked Questions