Stan L. Bartelmie, Mediator

The Boogeyman of California Family Law (6/13/13)
Don Cripe
People in a dispute have an increasing number of options for resolving their dispute. Those resolving family disputes have mediation as an option as well as many services provided by local courts.

How Children Cope with High Conflict Divorce: How are they harmed and what can parents do to help them? (6/06/13)
Bob Livingstone
A high conflict divorce is where marriage ends and war begins. Children are frequently unwittingly used as pawns in this high stakes, emotionally bloody demolition. Kids find different ways to cope in a system that includes children and two parents who absolutely despise each other. This is a hatred that doesn’t ease up over the passing of time; no these bitter feelings tend to increase and escalate as the years go by.

Managing Media with Your Ex Over the Summer (6/03/13)
Ingrid Simone
If two households doubles your kids' TV, game, and movie time, here's how to agree on limits so everyone can keep their cool over the summer.

I Didn't Leave the Children (5/28/13)
Michael Jacobs
From a mediator's perspective, slowing down, taking care to name truly, and to value messiness, are key elements of our practice. To break the cycle of attack/defend ("You left us/I didn't leave the children") is only possible by creating a space wide enough to encompass the complexity of where they currently stand. These perspectives are gathered from 16 mediators in a recent advanced family mediation training.

The Family Business in Divorce: Issues for Mediators (5/28/13)
Jeffrey Fink
There are millions of family businesses in the US. Even a buzz-word, “copreneurs,” has been coined to describe couples who work together.  Unfortunately, with up to half of all marriages ending in divorce, a significant number of these businesses will end up as a football to be tossed around between squabbling spouses. 

5 Tips for Co-Parenting After Divorce (5/28/13)
Allison Pescosolido
Divorce affects the whole family. It causes parents to worry about children in ways they never thought they would. As the relationship between a couple change from souse to ex, so does the parenting relationship.

From Behind the Glass: Mandatory Family Law Mediation (5/27/13)
Amanda Fletcher
This article sets out a plan of attack for how an attorney can effectively advocate for their client in a mandatory family law mediation setting where the attorney is excluded from the mediation session.

10 Helpful Tips for Mediating Child Related Issues (5/26/13)
Lisa Nelson
The article provides helpful tips and considerations for parents to address in divorce mediation when minor children are involved. There are specific considerations that parents need to be made aware of before they enter the mediation process with children.

The Gray Divorce (5/25/13)
Denise Tamir
Though the fact that divorce has become more common and less of a stigma has some impact, that does not explain why the gray divorce rate is climbing while the general divorce rate is going down. Denise Tamir suggests a few contributing factors.

Negotiating & Mediating Parenting Screen Time Agreements (5/20/13)
James Melamed
How the world has changed! It used to be that divorcing couples would fight over family pictures, music collections and fear losing contact with their absent child. Digital pictures, digital music and “Skype parenting time” have now dramatically altered this divorced parenting landscape. Compelling is the new critical need for parents to directly address screen time and digital media issues in a constructive way. These issues are challenging for any family and doubly challenging when a child is being raised between two households.

Mediation Case Law Video: Enforcing Oral Mediation Settlement Agreement (5/13/13)
James Coben
In the case Ledbetter v Ledbetter, the appellate court considered the issue of whether parties to a divorce mediation should be bound to a settlement orally dictated by the mediator and affirmed by parties and their counsel at mediation, which was later repudiated by one of the parties.

New Perspective on Domestic Violence and Mediation in Montana (4/26/13)
Mary Novak
The original Montana provisions for family court mediation, enacted in 1993, attempted to shield abuse survivors from attending mediation with their abusers. This reflected a national focus on the issue at the time. Section 40-4-301 of the Montana Code Annotated allowed courts to require any parties to participate in family law mediation. However, it made an exception for domestic violence.

Mediation Case Law Video: Divorce Agreement Complications (4/25/13)
James Coben
In Guthrie v. Guthrie, the validity of a divorce agreement was called into question due to one party's state of mind at the signing. A complicating issue was husband's death during the proceedings.

Preparing for Mediation: A Practical Guide to Mediator Selection (4/22/13)
Greg Stone
Greg Stone's latest book Preparing for Mediation: A Practical Guide provides straight-forward tips for mediators. This excerpt from his book discusses considerations for selecting mediators. It also suggests ways for mediators to allow their clients to save face while making progress in the mediation.

Is Collaborative Law Worth the Cost? (4/22/13)
Dick Price
For people facing divorce, a common question is whether Collaborative cases are "cheaper than litigation". While there is no way to compare a specific Collaborative case to an abstract idea of a litigated case, we can say that Collaborative Law will avoid a lot of the expense involved in litigation.

AudioBlog: Transforming Difficult Decision Making In Elder Care Planning (4/22/13)
Patricia Porter
Families today are assuming responsibility for the informal care of over 75 percent of elderly family members and are often faced with difficult decisions from a bewildering array of choices: e.g. estate planning, financial issues, and guardianship. In the best of circumstances, this can be a stressful process and sometimes leads to disagreements, confusion, and conflict at a time when the best intentions of the family are to work together for the needs of a loved and respected aging family member.

5 Effective Ways to Focus on What’s Important in Relationship Conflict (4/22/13)
Tammy Lenski
How do you decide how much of a relationship conflict’s flotsam is worth pursuing? How do you focus on the important matters in a relationship conflict and not get sidetracked by trivial ones?

I'm Heading for Divorce. How do I Start? (4/22/13)
Rachel Virk
This article walks through the divorce process for someone who is just beginning to consider a divorce. It gives a practical guide for people to navigate through the process without an emotional roller coaster.

Signing Arbitration Contracts on Admission to a Nursing Home – Who Is Bound? (4/08/13)
Richard Birke
As our population ages, more and more people are being admitted to nursing homes at or near the end of their lives. But when a person is admitted to a nursing home and they sign a contract agreeing to arbitrate any disputes arising out of the care they receive, should their heirs and the estate be bound by that contract?

Facing a Divorce Later in Life? (3/29/13)
Dick Price
It has become noticeable that Baby Boomers and even older people are starting to experience a significant number of divorces. Couples married for 20 to 40 years are getting divorced.

AudioBlog: Elder Mediation: Family Disputes Over Caregiving (3/29/13)
Patricia Porter
When families are faced with the long-term care arrangements for their aging parents and relatives, feelings of resentment, anger and jealousy that have festered since childhood often create new problems as families learn to cope and prepare for the road ahead. Instead of working together, families can get stuck placing blame.

Mediation Case Law Video: Enforcing Old Agreements (3/28/13)
James Coben
In Buckley v. Shealy, the appellate court decided to not to enforce a mediated divorce settlement, when the agreement is over a decade old and was never submitted to the court.

Steubenville Tragedy Needs Effective Communication (3/25/13)
William Hymes
The divisiveness and acrimony that played out in this past fall's trial of two lacrosse players that sexually assaulted an intoxicated young lady is playing out again in Northeastern Ohio in a similar way. Because of the adversarial nature of the judicial process this has been traumatic for everyone involved, including the victim, the rapists, their friends and families the community at large and even the CNN correspondent covering the trial. The only hope of dealing and restoring the fabric of the community is a restorative intervention, which may also be useful in developing a program of prevention.

On Spin Cycle (3/15/13)
Vivian Scott
Here we go; round and round. That’s the sound of the all-too-familiar family whirlpool in which one person (usually the woman) asks that a chore get done and the other person (usually a man) seems agreeable but never quite gets it done. She starts tip-toeing around the subject, he avoids it, she gets louder, he acts like she’s a nag, and now they’re on spin cycle with no forward progress in sight.

Five Tips to Let Go and Forgive after a Break-Up (3/15/13)
Lorraine Segal
Learning how to let go and forgive helped me a lot after two “break-ups.” Neither of these was with a spouse or romantic partner, but they were deep and difficult and painful nonetheless.

Informative Mediation -- A New Model for Tough Economic Times (Part 2) (3/01/13)
Rachel Virk
Not everyone distrusts or has reason to distrust his or her spouse in a divorce.  Not everyone needs an advocate to actively and adversarially negotiate, but instead can use the attorney in his or her corner for advice, for information and for document reviews.  Not everyone needs to pay for a two-attorney collaborative process. How can a divorce attorney best serve this market?  The answer may be the process of "Informative Mediation," described in this two-part article.

The Perfect Mediation (humor video) (2/27/13)
Chip Rose
The Perfect Mediation is a 4 minute video showing how easy mediation can sometimes be. Be sure to to check out all of our continuing education offerings at Mediate.com University.

Informative Mediation -- A New Model for Tough Economic Times (Part 1) (2/22/13)
Rachel Virk
Not everyone distrusts or has reason to distrust his or her spouse in a divorce.  Not everyone needs an advocate to actively and adversarially negotiate, but instead can use the attorney in his or her corner for advice, for information and for document reviews.  Not everyone needs to pay for a two-attorney collaborative process. How can a divorce attorney best serve this market?  The answer may be the process of "Informative Mediation," described in this two-part article.

A Survey of Public Awareness of Elder Mediation In Northeast and Central Ohio (2/15/13)
John Bertschler, Patricia Bertschler
As private practitioners in the field of mediation over the past fifteen years, we have struggled along with our professional colleagues nationwide to increase public awareness of alternative dispute resolution, particularly mediation. We have been gratified to see awareness grow due to the work of many individuals and professional advocacy groups, as evidenced by this survey.

The Dangers of Badmouthing Your Ex To The Kids (2/08/13)
Jeff Murphy
Getting a divorce is tough on any couple, but it’s even tougher on the kids. Think about them when you’re tempted to bad mouth your ex. The outcome may be very different from the one you planned.

Resolving Pressing Issues in Divorce Mediation (video) (2/06/13)
James Melamed
This video on resolving pressing issues at the beginning a divorce mediation is from Jim Melamed's 15-hour "Mediating Divorce Agreement" course available at Mediate.com University.

Four Keys to Successfully Mediating Temporary Orders in a Divorce Case (1/25/13)
Scott Morgan
This article offers tips from a practicing divorce attorney on how to effectively mediate temporary orders terms in a divorce case. Scott Morgan offers his thoughts on how to prepare the case for mediation, necessary preparation of the client for mediation, how to negotiate terms intelligently, and the proper mindset the attorney should have.

How to Start a Collaborative Divorce (1/25/13)
Dick Price
Since Collaborative Law is still relatively new, many people may feel unsure about how to start the process. It's actually very simple.

Ten Commandments of Divorce (1/18/13)
Donna Martini
This article is an excerpt from the book, Ten Commandments of Divorce. This article encourages people going through a divorce to take the time to move slowly, act with respect, and create a safe space for their children.

Special Needs Education Dispute Resolution (1/18/13)
Sherri Donovan
Caring for a special needs child involves an often overwhelming lifelong commitment that introduces an added strain to the parents’ own relationship, which can increase the likelihood of divorce. Mediation can be especially valuable to divorcing parents of a special needs child—both during and after the divorce process itself. This articles helps parents to discuss special considerations for themselves and their children.

Family Basics and Divorce Mediation - Video (1/14/13)
Gabriel Cheong, Esq.
Divorce and Family Mediation Basics Video. This is a question and answer video that tries to answer all of the basic divorce questions.

25 Prenuptual Questions (1/11/13)
Kenneth Cloke
Ken Cloke suggests 25 prenuptual questions that are helpful for couples mediation. These questions are designed more to facilitate a strong marriage than a smooth divorce.

Can Divorce Mediation Be Used in All Circumstances? (1/11/13)
Lisa Nelson
The article describes three situations where divorce mediation is not likely to be effective, and why.

On Weathering Marriage Communication Style Differences (1/11/13)
Tammy Lenski
Marriages can successfully weather significant communication style differences. It helps to set the foundation for success early, but if that boat’s already sailed, fear not — you can still change its direction.

What are the Biggest Mistakes Divorced Parents Make? (1/11/13)
Lorraine Segal
While parents are divorcing and after they are divorced, they are often overwhelmed by all the changes in their lives. They may be filled with guilt, blame, rage, or grief. Though they, of course, love their children, it may be a huge challenge to manage emotions and conflict with their ex in a way that helps their children move through the changes and feel loved and secure.