Two-Day Marital Mediation Training

For family mediators only.

How to Use Mediation to Help Couples Stay Married

.

John A. Fiske, Esq. and Laurie Israel, Esq. trainers

Friday and Saturday, November 12 and 13, 2010 at the Wellesley College Club

Wellesley, Massachusetts

8:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m.

                                                     Day One

Morning:

What question does each trainee have about marital mediation?     

How we each started practicing marital mediation.

            What is this process?

            How does it differ from divorce mediation or family counseling?

Each trainee introduces herself or himself.

Examination of literature and websites:

            Books such as The Divorce Remedy, Michele Weiner Davis and         

              The Relationship Handbook, George Pransky

            Websites such as www.smartmarriages.com and

              www.gottman.com

Role Play (fish bowl): The first meeting with the mediator:  a couple with

   financial issues discusses what to do with their marriage.        

Afternoon:

Some Technical Issues, including:

      Should marital mediation include caucuses, and if so when?                 

      How to deal with infidelity, actual or emotional.

      Gender and sexual orientation issues.

The Post-Marital Agreement:

      Addresses fundamental issues of control and acknowledgement    

      Examination of sample actual agreements

      Defines behavioral changes

      Emphasizes transparent finances

      Defines the terms of a possible divorce, and estate planning if applicable.

      Agreements as an ongoing guide to the marriage

      What happens when lawyers get involved.

      Is a written agreement a necessary part of marital mediation?

      Is a post-marital agreement enforceable, and does it matter? 

Afternoon role plays:  

     A risk taking entrepreneur, a house renovation, problems with in-

        laws, (s)he feels the other is not doing enough, other issues you see                                                                                              

        in your own practice. 

In role plays you focus on shat would have to happen in order for the couple to stay

       married, plus you examine:

            What happens in a marital mediation meeting?        

            How do you bring up difficult subjects?

            Techniques for transformation

            How long and how often do you meet?

                                                     Day Two

Morning:

            Examples of marital counseling v. marital mediation.

            How to respond to questions from psychotherapists and others.

            How not to practice psychotherapy without a license.

            Mediating in the shadow of the law.

                        Is the law important?

            Informing clients about the practicalities of what happens if they divorce.

            Research in this field and related marital studies

            Screening factors predicting marital failure or success

Other issues:

             Helping marriages with estate planning and real estate concepts.

            Helping marriages with asset protection.

            When to refer to a specialist.

Fish bowl role play focuses on introducing the subject of using mediation to help them 

           stay married. What happens if one party does not want to work on the marriage?

           How, if at all, do you transform a divorce mediation into a marital mediation?

Afternoon role plays:

            Couples with religion or class differences, child problems, financial problems, job

            dissatisfaction, husband out of work, spouse with illness, cases you want to see.

Methodology:

            Design your own process and written materials

            The range of written agreements (from none to the quasi-divorce                                                            agreement).

            More on enforceability of post-nuptial agreements.

Where do we go from here?

    How to develop and market a marital mediation practice.

    How to publicize marital mediation so that clients know it is available         

    How to find and develop peer support

www.mediate.com/fiske                                       jadamsfiske@yahoo.com

www.mediationtostaymarried.com              lisrael@socialaw.com

Total cost $700 including written materials and luncheon.

                       To REGISTER, fill out the information below.

John A. Fiske has been a lawyer since 1961 and a family mediator at Healy, Fiske, Richmond and Matthew since 1979. Since 1989, with Diane Neumann and Phil Woodbury he has trained over 800 people in divorce mediation. He introduced the concept of Marital Mediation to help couples stay married, at the urging of his wife, in 1997. He has written various articles and conducted several professional workshops on the subject since then. See e.g. “Marital Mediation as Another Helpful Path,” Mass. Lawyers Weekly December 8, 1997. He has also been featured in media accounts including  the Boston Globe (“Sealing A Contract after the Marriage,” December 19, 2005). He has helped about 50 couples to stay married in the last 10 years, and finds increasing interest in this approach. This training is his fourth marital mediation training, adding to the critical mass.

Laurie Israel began practicing law as a tax lawyer in 1987, and began practicing divorce law in 1991.  She is the founding member of Israel, Van Kooy & Days, LLC in Brookline, Massachusetts.  Her interest in marital mediation (which she calls “Mediation to Stay Married”) originated in her practice of divorce law. As a result of her writings on marital mediation (on-line and print)  clients started searching her out as someone who they felt could help them in their marriages.  Aside from marital mediation, Laurie’s practice includes divorce mediation, collaborative law, divorce, prenuptial agreements and estate planning. Laurie has developed a website (www.mediationtostaymarried.com) to assist practitioners and couples seeking information on marital mediation.

REGISTRATION FOR MARITAL MEDIATION TRAINING

November 12 and 13, 2010

To REGISTER, go to Laurie’s website,  www.mediationtostaymarried.com and register online.

Send your $700 registration fee payable to “John A. Fiske” to:

John A. Fiske, Esq.

Healy, Fiske, Richmond & Matthew

189 Cambridge Street