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 Stay in charge of your life
That's my main theme as a family mediator. The mediation process is designed to help you do that, since nothing happens unless you both agree to it. (Please note that Healy, Fiske, Richmond & Matthew has 4 partners: Regina Healy, Barbara Zicht Richmond, Susan J. Matthew and me. Regina Healy represents individual clients. Barbara Richmond and Susan Matthew represent individual clients and also mediate. I only mediate, with rare exceptions for volunteer appointments, etc. Here I explain mediation as I have practiced it since 1979.)
How to stay in charge
In order to stay in charge of your life you need to know what you want. Success in mediation depends on your both knowing what you want your Agreement to say. You also both need to be ready: ready to listen to yourself, ready to listen to each other and ready to try to reach agreement. Thus I encourage each of you to listen to what is most important to you. Knowing What You Want is your basic compass to steer by.
You may agree to obtain a divorce. You may decide to separate temporarily, to give yourselves breathing room while you decide the future of your marriage. You may decide you want a marital agreement to define new terms for your marriage. (See the links below to other marital mediation practitioners; we are not alone.) You may have other family issues that will benefit from the help of an experienced neutral third person present. This website provides you Documents That Will Help You move towards whatever goal you choose.
Take Your Time. Do not enter into any agreement until you know it says what you want it to say. You can of course consult with your own attorney, financial advisor, therapist or any other person during this process (or no one at all) as you wish.
To learn more about mediation
For further information about mediation, go to
Page Three contains the Mediation and Fee Contract which couples sign to make the divorce mediation process confidential. After reading the description, if you are interested please talk to your spouse. If you both want to learn more about mediation, please call my office at (617) 354-7133 to arrange an appointment or use the Contact link on the left. For directions to my Home Office, Use the link on the "About John A. Fiske" page. The Useful Documents link on the upper left contains basic documents that are useful to you whether you want an agreement to get divorced, an agreement to separate temporarily or an agreement to help you stay married. A Checklist of every subject included in a Separation Agreement is the most helpful piece of paper in a divorce. All the court forms necessary to file for a divorce are included. You can also link to A Marital Negotiation Process defining simple steps to help you communicate efficiently to learn what you each want and then develop your own solutions.
Other uses for family mediation:
I have also helped siblings use mediation to resolve disputes over the care of
aging parents, or how they can design a dispute resolution mechanism for
future disputes, or parents arguing with their children over money, or other
family issues. These families design their own agreements and other useful
documents.
How Much Does Mediation Cost?
A typical divorce mediation takes between 5 and 10 hours of my time, which includes time in meetings, communicating by phone or writing, and writing the Separation (ie Divorce) Agreement. Thus the total cost is between $2,000 and $4,000 to obtain a complete Separation Agreement, which parties typically share in some way. Clients pay a retainer of at least $2,000 which is returned if not earned. The remaining costs of a divorce are the $220 filing fee for a no-fault divorce, the approximately $60 charge you each pay for your parent education training class if you have a minor child, and whatever you pay your own legal, financial or other advisor if you choose to have one. Obviously, mediation costs vary depending upon how much time I spend on your case. My longest case took about 20 hours; on the short end, several couples have tied for the record of one hour, believe it or not.
It's Up to You
If you want to, you can use mediation to:
- - save time and money
- - stay in control of your own life
- - improve communication with your spouse
- - improve your own sense of what is important to you
- - resolve longstanding family disputes
- - develop methods of conflict resolution that will help your relationship forever
Links to other Marital Mediation Practitioners:
Laurie Israel www.mediationtostaymarried.com
Lynda Robbins www.robbinsresolves.com
Another major benefit of mediation is reducing conflict between parents. Since parental conflict is the main source of damage to children of divorce, resolution of conflict may be your most helpful gift to them. (See For Better or For Worse: Divorce Reconsidered, E. Mevis Hetherington and Joan Kelly, Norton & Co., 2002). Email address: jadamsfiske@yahoo.com. Feel free to send me any criticisms and other comments about this website, thank you in advance.
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