Mediation As An Alternative To Therapy
I was drawn to mediation because of what I saw as its unique ability to create greater happiness. After taking my first mediation training in 1995, I sensed that through mediation, it could be possible to (a) help individuals think more clearly about what they want, (b) help individuals communicate and be understood better, and (c) help people toward a satisfying resolution of their dilemmas. My belief was that these goals could address many of the things in life that make individuals unhappy. I saw it as an alternative to therapy that was suitable for people who were not seeking “treatment”* by a mental health professional.
We have become a society in which problems are directed to mental health professionals. Yet many problems have nothing to do with mental health. Instead, they have to do with confusion; uncertainty; lack of communication; problematic societal dictates, goals and expectations; conflicts between personalities; conflicts between individuals and societal norms and expectations; and prejudices against certain temperaments and personality types, racial groups, orientations; etc.
Many people want to find a way to address their problems without being “treated” by a mental health professional, but are at a loss as to where to go. Mediation by trained and skilled facilitative mediators can offer these individuals exactly what they are looking for. Mediators who uphold the principles of neutrality, self-determination and respect encourage the parties to think, perhaps freeing the parties from their own preconceived ideas about what is possible for them; and facilitate communication between parties. Mediators can even mediate with one person. It can be called coaching or it can simply be viewed as mediating within a person’s own conflicted mind.
Mediation need not be viewed as a process by which a neutral helps people come to a resolution; it can be viewed as a process by which a neutral helps people go to the next step; whether it is clarifying a thought process, communicating with another person, or simply organizing a person’s thinking. Mediation can be that good friend or that parent who wants to help and who can be organized, analytical and insightful, without offering his own solutions. Offering solutions is inappropriate because the dilemma that a party brings to mediation is that he has a disruption in his mind or in a relationship that is causing dissatisfaction. The only way for that dissatisfaction to be addressed is by the party understanding it and finding the resolution to it. Outsiders have no access to a real understanding of how the dilemma feels and how it can best be remedied, so it can only be addressed by the individual. The mediator can support and focus the party’s thinking, but the thinking must come from the party.
It is time to convey to the world what mediation has to offer. Therapy is for those who wish to be “treated” by a mental health professional. Mediation is for those who need help with an issue or a problem. Viewing mediation in this way answers a need that people have been struggling with without even recognizing it.
Mediators who were trained in, apprenticed and mentored in interpersonal mediations such as community mediation, and who have begun to do relationship mediation (sometimes called marital mediation, matrimonial mediation, or couples mediation), family mediation, parent-teen mediation, and coaching, among others, are attempting to address the need for this type of service. I applaud this development and this direction, but caution that here, especially, mediators must be well trained and appropriately experienced and mentored in the process of facilitative mediation.
End Note:
* I use the word “treatment” in this article to mean whatever approach a mental health professional is trained to take with a patient or client, and which requires it to be provided by a trained mental health professional.
Biography
Diane Cohen mediates in the family, divorce, governmental and business realms, both privately and through a number of panel memberships. She has mediated hundreds of cases of all types since 1997, and is on various mediation rosters, including the U.S. Postal Service’s “REDRESS” panel, the New York City Bar’s Co-op and Condo Mediation panel, the New York City Family Court Mediation panel, and the MWI Employment Mediation Panel. She has devoted a great deal of time to studying and thinking about the process of mediation, and regularly attends continuing education programs in the field, as well as engaging in peer dialogues on mediation matters. She is currently co-president of the Family and Divorce Mediation Council of Greater New York, is certified by Mediate.com, and is a NYSDRA Certified Mediator. She has a BA from Queens College of the City University of New York, where she majored in mathematics, and a J.D. from Columbia Law School.
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Additional articles by Diane Cohen
Comments
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| Sandy ,
Portland OR |
01/26/10 |
| Thanks! |
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Great article. I also see mediation as an alternative option to therapy in certain situations. I've also noticed that some people will seek mediation as a gateway to therapy. Interestingly, I don't often hear of people seeking therapy later turning to mediation... |
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| Debra ,
Portland OR |
12/09/09 |
| Broadening the Vision of Mediation |
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Thanks for your article.
I agree with your ideas about the scope of mediation. You wrote: "Mediation is for those who need help with an issue or a problem."
I think the concept of mediation can actually be even broader. A skilled mediator can be of assistance in any situation where positions, needs, interests, values, identities, etc. have gotten all "mushed" together and difficult to sort - whether the situation involves intra- or interpersonal relationships.
Take care.
Debra |
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| Alan Sharland,
London UK |
12/08/09 |
| Mediation 'as an alternative' not 'instead of'...' |
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I'm puzzled by some of the comments. The article clearly talks about Mediation as an 'alternative' to therapy and at no point says it replaces it. The author is identifying that there is a clear need that many are having met through practises such as mediation and conflict coaching that therapy is not meeting.And of course the opposite is true. But therapy is not 'the answer to everything' any more than mediation is, nor practises such as conflict coaching. I was not confused by the article. I know that there is therapy, and there is an alternative process that many can also benefit from - mediation. |
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| Dana ,
Calgary AB |
danayah766@yahoo.com
12/04/09 |
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Well, as a trained therapist AND a mediator - would say that there's lots in common and lots of differences. Like in many fields of knowledge nowadays - lots of disciplines overlap, merge, divide into different entities, transform from one to another , change names and so on.
Alternative to therapy? I'd say, another tool of dealing with people's problems. Having to be able to make EDUCATED CHOICE is the key. |
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| Muhammad Abdullah,
Madison WI |
Mabdullah@stu.matcmadison.edu
12/01/09 |
| Mediation As An Alternative To Therapy |
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I am not a Mediator. I received training in the 90's when Conciliation, and Healing was a big part of many Social Service and Community Organizing programs, particularly those sponsored by CSAP and other Federal agencies. During that time I served as Outreach Coordinator for the Interfaith Conference of Greater Milwaukee, and Outreach Specialist for the Opportunities Industrialization Center of Greater Milwaukee. As an Imam in the Muslim community I can attest to the fact that Mediation, "Naseeha" (Arabic for sincere advising) and "mashuraa" (mutual consultation) are prominent features of the Islamic Faith. About six years ago I became aware of Mediation as an alternative to expensive litigation, and heard about Capitol Law School's "Minorities in Alternative Dispute Resolution Conference" in Columbus, OH. I invited another Imam from Indianapolis, IN to attend with me, that is the only breif training I've had in Mediation. I have high regards for the "Art/Science of Mediation". I have been known to say that the indigenous, African-American, Muslim community has the largest population of undiagnosed and untreated cases of Mental Illness of any Faith community,in the U.S. (I will let someone who is from the immigrant Muslim community comment on their plight, since the tragedy of Fort Hood is still fresh).I have a high appreciation for the sober message of the previous contributor to this article. As much respect as I have for the Art/Science of Mediation, the last thing I would think anyone, including the author of the article would want, is for someone to mis-perceive the notion that a Mediation session could substitute for a good, qualified therapist. Even if it was only one out of ten, it would be one too many. Nuff said! |
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